Not Just A Fairy Tale

2008-10-24T05:10:00.004+08:00

Kdg2 hidup bnr2 susah. Gw g tau apa yg bakal terjadi di hari nanti. g ada yg bkl bisa tau d.

Tapi kata "cinta" kdg2 bisa ketahuan.......

Q lagy sebel bgt nihh!! bete.tiap hari harus kerja. capek....sakit2 mwulu. trus dimarahin trus2an ama Fahmy. Perasaan juga mulai berbeda terhadapnya. g tau knp.

nothing was awesome or that amazing anymore. I felt like we're just friends.....nothing more.

tapi,ada juga perasaan yg beda........aq masi ada rasa sayang kahhh?? cuma Tuhan yg tau.

Anws,gig on the 18th was awesome.thanks to SAM.hahaha..(thanks alot sam for the keyboard!!!!^^). hahaha.whoa whoa.saw Ahmad again...this time i killed him for being MIA again.lolss...bluekss..after gig we al went to youth park to see another gig...hahaha..crowded like fuck!seriously.hahaha.. gosh i missed erin...where is she mannn...??o.o

anws,18th i off.but next day(19th) work again siaaaa..cos of jingxuan. took over her place.hahaha...ish..

My god!naem sooo irritating laa.hahahaha..funny lad.:]gahhhh...not been talking to Nabil...wadever laaa..give me attitude.ish ish..

Work work work...lalalala```what else can i do?huh?

nothing laaa...work is BORING..... AS IN IM FUCKING SERIOUS ABOUT IT!

Especially when my mood is soooo fucking down! the day was whole up and down! feel like killing the customerss..seriously. slapping their faces and kicking their dum ass butt!fuck!

Argh,i've not been eating much and have been falling sick quite often...i hope it'll continue and soon i go dead! no more worries and trgedy or EVEN HURT! I think i've lost too much blood.yeap! cool huh? yea i knoe.thanks. Everyone have been pissing me off these days. I DUNNO WHY.... But my mood was this bad!!!!I missed my old life...seriously. i m soooo going to have a quiet time by myself one day with out any human being disturbing me...i lost hope in him.and myself...i hate everything..love.money.everything!!!!!!!!

Even i can feel that my feelings are running down the river........flowing to a stranded somewhere out there. i wouldnt care! Thats all la!byebye.

everything is not right at all.

2008-10-10T05:41:00.000+08:00

2008-09-05T08:28:00.006+08:00

Dani,molly,ridho,diandra,ahnap,jeremy!
The indo peeps.plus belgium (in orange tee)

I miss jeremy!have fun in Belgium Jer!!:)

hope you can come back to Singapore One day!!^^
.....................................................

"Teman hati sering buat kita makan hati.Cinta and kata sayang akan mendatangkan kemusnahan.Doa dengan telapak akan jatuh musnah tanpa perbuatan.Hanya kamulah cinta outih yang menjadi perjalanan q dalam hidup,semoga diterima segala alaman.

Sayang , cinta q tulus padamu,bukan harta yang aq harapin dari mu,tapi kasih sayang and kesetiaan darimu."

Its been 5 days i never blog.I was bored now, so i decided to blog.haha.My week was awesomely boring.I didnt meet Fahmy until yesterday.I missed him.:)

He gave me sweet friendster message in the wee morning.

I was like" blushhhhhed"

Dad have been in town for the whole week*awkward*He have to have some medical check up? I hope he's fine.

Sunday,i met up with Fahmy,we went to Ikea tamp.

hahaha.ok i was late today cos i woke up abit LATE.:([couldnt sleep at night!]

He came to my place around 11 and we took the bus to tamp.Ikea.let say,boring place.haha.We just walked around.:):) omg!! i wanna buy sooo many things!!!!!! *LIST LIST LIST!!*

then,we went to cityhall suntec starbucking..:)for hours.hehe.

He made me soooo nervous that night when he sent me home!!*smack!!* grrrr.

Well at least i got to meet him.haha.he made my day.:)

Whole week,mostly i was locking my self up in my room.

have the mood to actually go out.(mayb if go out,also eat only...)

Shit!!Khaliq tld me his feeling..I was like"O.o"

but we're just friends..yupp.or may i call it "cousin"

.hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaha.

God,i was soooo happy i get to meet Fahmy yesterday.:)

Went to haji lane for break fast.(ok.weird right? i m not muslim, but i did fast.hahaha..)

We ate at sultan's cafe.I anyhow order my food,which i end up liking it*spicy and hot!!*helped by the milo^^

He's sooo gonna get it when he pinch my cheek non stop.

We chill there awhile before heading to vivo next..haha..

We just chill on the roof top.Moments to remember.^^

*ily*

2008-08-31T04:30:00.003+08:00

Well..baybeats days was unbelivable!

Day1 was kinda a blast.Met up with Wan and his mates at Marina sq KFC.Gee..i was late.yea yea...but they went there early .So ...i dunno who is right or wrong.:D Anws,omg..his gf is Hanna!!!i know her laa(when jamming with her once)!

As they say.."wad a small world"

Hmmm..Ira was there too.I got to meet her,yay!!*claps*

Plus my long tym no see pinoy brother,Shahidin.haha.I miss him too.

Anws,I wasnt with Wan that long.Cos, in the end, i ended up with Izad,kid,fathu and much more of their people(i cant remember everyone's name).OH OH...Davin was there.lol.(someone thinks he's cute..)(is he???uhh..not my type).

I saw the ex-PRR gang.lol(afiq,abbas,dani...)and of cos, feruz's friends(haiqal..yada2)[thank god that feruz wasnt there,i'll kill the fuck up shit of him]

haha..oh well,didnt eat much that day.kinda weak but happy.fuckinghappy.

I saw baby,palin,oza and some other girls..Too bad erin wasnt there.I missed her dearly.Anws,FORCE VOMITwas RAWKING THE STAGE AND THE CROWD!!!!!!*clapsssss*

Omg!! i saw AHMAD!!!!!!!hahaha.didnt recognise him at first.he look sooo diff!!!:) but he's sooooooo cute!!!:)

hahaha.."who are you uh?"(eye up)

"im AHMAD!!!!!u forget me??"(sad face)

my face was like O.O!!!!!

GRRR!!!

I saw ein,wawan,amirul shafiq(that emo guy i talked bout in my previous blog*..and much more missed friends!!!

Anws,after a few rounds..of chilling and chatting,I decided its time to meet up with Fahmy,and his band.Yupp.(oh ,im not in his band nymore)...

Ira said he's "cute and Im lucky gurl!!(*grinssss)"

The weather was sooooo hot.seriously and i was wearing a bennie(Khaliq's)...awesomely matched everything i wore.lolsss.Guess wad?

Lee invented a name for me.(awwwww(darn it))

its "small fries".

What the heck.Do i even look like a fries?thats totally sound sooo wrong!gee.

Anyways...No more time to be wasted, we finally walk to our bustop.haha..yupp.headed back to my hostel to rest.But that didnt end there yaw.I was chilling with my indo peeps in the hostel tilll fucking LATE!!!!argh.

Baybeats day2.Wasnt sooo good.Noon,i ate lunch with my family(my dad's in town)[AWKWARD!!!!].Then after that i decided to head back to hostel.lolsss.I rested and changed.5ish, iwent out heading to siti hole(ct hall).waited for all the late comers...ughh..everyone was LATE!(there were onli,me,ira,alif,bazly,salman,said)

Ate at burgerking.chicken burger no mayo/vege.+cheese.(try to figure that out.)

the other bedok bandits will come later.uhh..after that we went to esplanade.omfg!there's so many m______p...!!!!ewww...my mood was like"=_="

we just sat somewhere.Ira wasnt with us anymore.I lost her.anws,i saw my ex!!!Kamarul Arifin a.k.a that fucking jerk!!!

he and his"darn" friends were sitting near us.(beside).gee.He look totally worst then i expectd.Like oooooooowadever!haha.he was acting as if he was smoking.wadever laaa.(thats when i laugh cos his "newgf" snatch it frm his mouth and give it to someone else.WHAT A LOOO-ZAH!

Anws,yea..the day ended by me going home with khaliq.yupp.nights..:)for now.cos i aint going fer baybeats day 3.Its going to be boredom all the way!:)

hahaha.

I miss you Fahmy...♥

I miss you Erin....♥

I miss you Lewen...♥.

2008-08-28T22:21:00.003+08:00

Omfg.I MISSED FAHMY.okays thats it.I'm weird.:)
He's the best friend of my life.
His smile..omg.feel like pinching his cheeks..
Tripping him..
Kicking him.
Punching him.
haha..anws.We went to Vivo,chill....listen to music.Sitting on the roof.
Had a good time.
Nvm.im missing..him..

2008-08-27T02:33:00.002+08:00

Hey peeps.Sorry for not bloggin yest.I was out till really late.lol.like2 am?lol

The day was awesome.

I had piano class in the afternoon until around 3? yeah,it wasnt that happy ending of that class.Cos i m soooo not prepared.lols.

Seriously.Sigh.and the exam is like on 5th Sept..

I met Fahmy around 4ish at Orchard Mrt.Then,we Walked around town awhile.(my mum was also in town).It was boring.Cos Singapore is B.O.R.I.N.G.

then we decided to go Singapore Flier.Yupps.It was his idea.Not mine..We walked from Raffles to the location.It was tiring..DUH!we ate popeye the sailorman.Ugh,the food wasnt that good for me.haha.I didnt really like it.

The popeye in Indonesia is much much better!!!!!!!!! >.<

Then we chill awhile there.befor going to Esplanade.And we chill there again.lol..

Gahhh..He sent me to my bustop...then,off i went back to the hostel.hahaha..

I chill with my Indo peepss...and when Mustafa till 2ish in the wee morning.whoaa..I m dead tired.But what to do?Im bored....

2008-08-26T02:44:00.002+08:00

Well,everything is going to change.Everything.

Im going to end everything,and start a new beginning.

I didnt want it to happen.But I guess I already made 3 best friend fight over what is not worth it to fight over..

(To those guys:Im sorry)

I think its better i get out from it before they turn worst.

I miss Fahmy.opppps..Okay thats totally gay and random.I miss all my friends.

Ira,marlieana,Erin!!,Fahmy,Lewen,Izad,Nina,Eerah..whoa..more.

Sigh.I hope i got more time to be with them.Gee.

I have to go with the flow..

I cant just think just for myself.But other people too..Right?

I miss jamming.gahh.Playing the keyboard.Totally.I missed the time i rock the keyboards with my fingers.whoo..that was awesome!

Bought a jeans and a vest.But i havent wore it yet.Wad a waste.$$$$fly fly!

I HAVE TO STOP SMOKING! DAVIN AND IZAD SAID THAT.

(ALOT OF PEOPLE SAID THAT TOO)

but how???Ans:"think of a candy"

gahh..wth?????????????????

Anywaes:ive no mood to actually tell the whole world bout my life.But i have to let out the anger i have in me.Sorry people.If i said something wrong..

But come on.Im like typing out my "diary" to www!!!!jesus christ.help me please!

2008-08-24T07:41:00.002+08:00

I've not much to say.

No mood.

Bad day.

Terrible day.

Met new friends(kid,izad,and more).

And oh ya..check this song out.

Title:When I'm with you.by Faber Drive.

Emo.sweet and awesome.

Bye bye.

2008-08-22T02:51:00.001+08:00

Erin and Diandra:)
I love this girl.

She is the one who listen to my problem

She's the one who always cheer me up.

She's the best!!!

2008-08-22T02:34:00.004+08:00

Well,im talking much here.But I'm just stress!Things are turning really badly for me and myself.

1st:My piano exam is coming in 2 weeks time.(Im not prepared!)

2nd:Azri is acting really weird(as usual but this is WORST)

3rd:Fahmy's daddy is having critical illness(Im sad too!!!!:( )

4th: My brother is being a pathetic ARSEHOLE!

5th: My fingers are snapping into pieces.

6th:Spore is BORING!!!!with a capital B.

7th: Life is full of lies and tragic moments.

there's more but i dun want to say it.

Gosh.Im like sad uh.Fahmy, be strong!! Have faith in everything alrights?

sigh....On wednesday when i met him, He was cheered up abit.(thts nice to know) But he made me cry...it was sooo sad.He even have tears! gee.

Yesterday he called..bad news came.I was terrified.sigh..Just keep praying.Ill pray for him too.

cheer up.keep your smile on.or ill pinch your no-flesh cheeks!

Well,i think thats all.

ps:to Azri:get well soon alrights?i missed you.

2008-08-20T02:19:00.002+08:00

You’re all grown up. I’m no big sister of yours.I’m sorry,if I did not turn out to be the perfect girl you thought I was.But I know,I gave my best.

Am I right to say that?Still, we have no one else to blame but ourselves. Immaturity,describes us best.I have always feared the day that whereby I would lose you forever.Because all along,I thought I can never survive without you.

But the day seemed to have come.

True, I was afraid.Terrified.My heart stopped beating.

A moment, a minute,a second, I don’t know.But I know it did. I could feel the wound opening up again.The feelings of uncertainities I tried my best to surpressed, resurfaced again.And blinked. Not a single tear drop. Instead, a smile appeared.A relief? I guessed so.

Sometimes I feel like the emptyness might swallow me. I sit at my window and watch the rain fall, how it turns all of the leaves on the ground muddy and sodden. It reminds me of your eyes, autumn's midnight I called them.

When I looked into them, there was so much pain hidden behind them.

Yeah,yeah.I know things wasnt that least expected.But i was what i am suppose to be.Im not being emotional or whatever.But i m telling all this from deep inside my heart.Everything seems to change. bad to worst.What can i say?

It struck me.It struck me real hard the moment I realised how much everything has changed.A fool I was to believe our love was for eternity.I mean, who are we to decide?Don’t ask me, cause to be honest, I don’t really know.

I've nothing else to say..Just think and i hope you will forgive me of all..and accept me the way I am. I am only human and i made mistake.

To fahmy:cheer up alrights? Your dad is going to be fine.Im sure of it.I hope he'll get well soon!! text me if you need anything.or someone to cheer u up! ill be there.

2008-08-17T08:18:00.008+08:00

HAPPY BELATED 17th BIRTHDAY MUHD AZRI♥!!

Smoga panjang umur,sehat slalu dan stay cute and sweet as usual.

.hugs and kisses.love you♥

This is the picture of him♥

Indonesia Raya!!!!!!!17 Agustus!

MERDEKA!!!MERDEKA!! WAHH hari ini 17 Agustus booo..negara q tersayang ulang taon!:)

hehe....Hmm,gw bgn jem 8 pagy.Erin,udah sms gw.gw masih bo2. waduh! cowo di hostel kayakny masih bo2 d.Gmn bangunin yach??hmmm...(mikirr....)
Padahal katanya maw ke Indonesian embassy..Eh,masi bo2.Dasar!!! So i went to the embassy with erin..had fun,trus ke town.fortcaning.. history and photography.
Anws,Fahmy was being such a joker for the past few days..But he's been really sweett!!!beneran bgt d.hehe..I didnt go jamming(totally) kmrn.untung g dimarahin..hehe.

Wauh gw dah g ngomongan lg ma Feruz...tu cowo kykny hrs diberi pelajaran..bgt.......!!!!!!!!!

Bokap di sinagpur..sebel. Azri bdae gw g ikut.eh mala tadi malem brantem.

bloody hell.Fahmy called last night.We talked stuff..yada2..

Wah, hari ini kayakny plan gw ancur d..G ada plan bgt.

Plg2 cuma,ktm lg ama Fahmy,chilling.and stuff di esplanade..Omg!!!farmer pinched my cheeks!!!!! Sneakily pinched it during the gig! grrrrrrrrrr.
Thats all for today's happening:)

2008-08-14T17:40:00.001+08:00

Jamming was fun/fine..But life's boring and fucked up.I dunno why..
But i m being really emo now.
Khai was my drummer yesterday.which is UNBELIVABLE.but believe it please.
then someone thought that we are COUPLE. KHAI?ME? US? COUPLE? DISASTER!!!!EWW!!! ITS LIKE IMPOSSIBLE. D-U-H!
lastly i saw the fucking skaters i knew. used to hang out with them.But they are assholes.hate them.Baby still have my ipod.but for sure its gone.Ass!!!
then one of the skater(forgot his name) have my sony ericson hp!!he's a mother fucking bastard!
dasar brengsek!!!! g tau ati!!!! bego!!!
maled gw mikirin. but i cant.he's a total arse in the butt!
nvm..
let dun talk bout it..
feruz was there, but i m like dun care..Whatever laa.he got his life and i got mine.!
Fahmy,Lee and Hansen came to skate park and took me away for dinner.We ate at town..(they went mosque after jamming).
I GOT BULLIED LIKE HELL..by LEE..
ALL fahmy do was laugh!! damn it.haha.but they cheered me up.=)
anws, thats all.
im shagged.and fucking tired. toddles.

2008-08-13T04:14:00.005+08:00

Its been days since last i blog.hmm..i cant really remember much .haha.friday i was with feruz.yupps.we hang out.walked around.till late when we met his friends.wad a WASTE OF TIME!met mum.then,he sent me home.But then i went out again.to maccafe to meet up with Azri ,khai and some unknown peeps.

Happy birthday Hakim!!!

Saturday was awesome.i met alot of my old mates!!haha..well, i was in my hostel for like half of the day..around 4ish, i went out and met up with feruz.at cityhall.It was fucking crowded!seriously.I was soo short. i have to tip toe abit to look for him.geee...
I met Zura and Nisa otw.we said hi and byes...Azri and the gang was also around esplanade,but due to the stupid people jam,we couldnt meet up.so, yea.hahah.muddfredd tagged along with us..(kpo)
bahh..we have to squeezzeeee ourself to get ways.Stupid people..walk so slow somemore so hot!damn it! One banglah,touch me..EWW!Feruz was quite protective that day.how sweet.=) he was sooo sweet. its unbelivable.he's sooo different as to refer to the feruz last tym in gmss..hahaha.=D We stood around the padand side. yupps.still got the good view of the fireworks.
hmm..oh yea, i smoked.lol..stress and needed the fag.
fireworks was B.O.R.I.N.G.i always hated it.haha.but i still took video of it..no no..nt ferme.its for feruz.he's too lazy to do anithink.bahhh guys..=D
After tht, we went clarke quay..i met the bedok bandits( not the whole gang onli some)..
then saw rain,dhil..bla bla..and ERIN,BABY,OZA and PALIN.we hugged..as usual.=) missed those gurls..xoxo.
we chill at uob building.with some of Feruz frens that we met on the way..it was awesome.=)
Sunday,new band session.at vivo. met fahmy at ct hall.hang out awhile and then went to vivo to meet the BIG MONSTER LEE!..at night met feruz and frens.drinks.
Monday blues.went to school.then after that,back to hostel.around 4ish,went to meet Fahmy.we're suppose to hang out.went to arab st..eat..prata. omg.he eats sooooooooo slow!! even snails can eat faster.gosh..then we walk around.bought a vest.=)
we waled around bugis..then suntec..around 9ish, went to geemoh..met feruz and faizal.missed the last bus..in the end we ton.thats all i can say bout it.no more than tht.we sit under the block..chit chat abit.listen to music..was fun.
I slept over faizal's house.infact everyne did plus sawwr& rudy.sleep till 1230 pm nex day.lol.showered..then met mum at orcet.haha...eat.after tht met fahmy.hangout at starbucks ocbc building where azri's werking.lol.went home
gosh..that was fast.=)everything ended by now.im dead tired and its 4am.not asleep. gotta try sleep awile. xoxo..

ps:omg! i missed IRA,M',DIN,INDRA,AIM AND SB PEOPLE!!!love you all!muacks.

With the 3 chipmunks.

2008-08-08T01:48:00.006+08:00

well,its friday.and i've not talked bout wad happen on thurs morning.till late.

wed night,the chipmunks (khai,azri♥ & indra) and I went to Mustafa after Aim finished work like around 12 plus?its weird cos Aim didnt even follow.Haha.I was at starbucks earlier on btw.(that was wed night)

In mustafa,we roamed about.talking loudly,especially indra and khai..sheesh..

In the end, we got ourselves Mp3.Same one as Azri♥ 's . Indra(pink),Khai(blue) and white for myself. After that,we roamed bout again.Eventually,we started feeling kinda hungry.I know its kinda late to eat especially its like 3ish am.I didnt eat the food there.Instead I was eating the cheese and ham sandwich from Starbucks!:)

And then the guys send me back by cab. sweet!:)

Okay,in the morning.woke up late again.My mum called a couple of times.I was acting sick.Ohkayy.. The chipmunks told me to meet them at Lavender at 11am.

guess what time they actually came? "almost one!"

gosh,i was BORED,waiting and waiting and waiting.We ate at bugis.yada3x.When to Starbucks HQ, to get Starbucks tee.yup.got one too!<3

Gee,after that Khai wanted to go queensway shopping centre.To buy some shirt/jeans.(cant really remember).Off we go to sbbp.again..chilling and hang out there.haha..i was like sitting down,turned around.there's this girl!! she looks sooo familiar(in my thoughts).i was like o.o.and like a statue awhile b4 i rushed out.Ii was EERAH! she's soo tall!and pretty:)

things wasnt that awesome because Azri♥ wasnt talking to me. I dint know why.

and he was soo frustrated over something.si, i decided to go home..alas, i didnt.Ira told me to come back and talk things out with Azri♥ . We did and things went back to normal. ily. I got high drinking abit of beer.hahaha. Hazura was DRUNK!!!!my...but she look sooo cute!!!^^.

lol.We hang out under a block till like 1ish? hahaha.it was awesome though.

the bonding!:)

anws,went back to the hostel like 2? yupps.shagged. and its already Friday!!!

to eerah:we shall hang out at starbucks one day!

2008-08-06T10:01:00.004+08:00

well,last night i slept early.i didnt even realisd i slept! lol. until 4 am.when i went back to sleep again.i was awaken by a loud noise by one china girl kocking my hostel door.
i sooo wanna kill her.(dun ask y)yes. i went to school.well,part of it.its true! haha.
did my thing.and not all.
feruz,one of my juniors during my secondary times,contacted me all of a sudden.its soooo weird.
i ever did think he WAS cute.but now,not really(no offence)..anws,i met up wit Vicki♥ .oh i love her.:) we chill,hang out and drink starbucks.
hahaha. i love starbucks till THAT MUCH!

Azri♥ went to starbucks to "study" fer his coffee master test.hahaha.anws, i went to starbucks after tht.till very very late!!!!!
life is soo complicated..really.one by one. reasons for problems come.and go.im sick of it.sheeesh.<3>

Argh..paino exam coming!

2008-08-05T09:17:00.002+08:00

today,i woke up late.mum was already waiting.lol.totally weird,cos i slept quite early yesterday.and woke late? i went to school,OH YEAH I DID.but i was in the library. worst of all,the aircon isnt working.pathetic or wat?!sigh.Zul asked me to be his best friend. and promise that we'll never fall for each other.yupps.now that's better.after school, i got piano lesson,uh.sad. piano exam coming in exactly 1 month time!!argh! stressss.is there any better way to say stress in a reliving way? no.

im being emo now.Seriously.i want to go back to my EMO style.i missed it.

eye liner, long fringe.wearing everything black.how i missed it.

reluctant dragon cast.

2008-08-04T07:35:00.003+08:00

The reluctant dragon cast.♥

They are all missed by me.

we did a good performance though.

at the waiting room/cafetria esplenade.

Zac tyler♥.OMFG.i saw him in my school a week ago!!! for the summer camp.

whoohoo.he remembered me.:)

2008-08-04T07:20:00.010+08:00

gosh!! tadi mlm gw g bo2 lg!!gila bnr d gw.:(
kung kalikung bgt!!! argh! mata gw udah kaya panda beneran nihh..tolong!!!
well, i took my shower at around 7ish?yupps.everyone is still asleep in the hostel.it was quiet and peaceful.=D hmm,i found out that that jerk have been playing with my feeling from the very beginning.thats y i m venting my anger all the tym.well at least everything is settled. haha..btw,the story about the bbq pit on saturday at pasirris can be found in fahmi big bro's blog.
http://www.nonchalant-trepidation.blogspot.com/ yupps.all the videos and picstures.and even quiz.:)about us!!! its awesome and trequiling!=)
anws, im suppose to go school today.but ...i cant seems to have the motivation.=( cos ofmaybe the werks that i dint do at all? ok.my mum fetched me from my hostel at around 8 ish? she sent me to school.but sadly, i went out.yupp.went over to holland village starbucks( whoohoo another starbucks) and chill.waiting for Azri♥ and Indra to come around 11ish. 2 whole hour to myself.yupps.

sigh.i feel sleepy maybe becos i didnt sleep at all last night?Azri is late.Khai called him AND GUESS WAD?he just woke. ugh.gmn g bete?At 1 plus then Azri dtg.GILA! LAMBAT BGT!huh.

gw ampe ketiduran.wahahahaha. capek.nahh trus qta ke rumah indra.lepak bentar.makan di LJ.waduh! gw sebelnya minta ampun!!!!!! gw di ejek ama 3 cowo.malu bgt g tuh?bete!!!! argh.ya gw cabut sendri.ngapain jg gw tgl disitu, di ejekin.ya g? cowo gw, bukannya bikin gw lebih tng mala ketawa.jahat.

Walala,gila cowo2 starbucks ini gila!smua pada ngejekin gw.bagus!! pinter! nyebelin.

I was at Sb till late.yupps.Azri went off 1st cos indra's fren's mother passed away.Gw turut berduka cita.:'(

oh btw, Zul my humor is sick.he didnt turn up for his prelim paper today. haha.so yeah.i hope he'll get well:)

oh god i miss Azri♥ soo sooo much.i dunno y.and i ♥ him.yupps.

and i ♥ Ira,marli,shahiddin.:)they are the BESTIES!!!<3

Oh god,i dun feel like going to sch tmr! help.

Amirul Shafiq IS emo NOW!!

2008-08-04T03:04:00.007+08:00

AMIRUL SHAFIQ is EMO now!!! gosh.

gila bgt tau!! tiba2 koq bisa emo? he use to be someone who always make jokes and disturb people.

but gosh!! tiba2 dya ganti jd emo bgt d.eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee nakutin bgt. He's soooo not funny wen he's emo.

.........................................................................................................................................................................

Amirul:Wad are you doing?
Diandra:Im blogging,you?
Amirul: im thinkng
Diandra: thinking bout?
Amirul: my life, i feel so shit!
Amirul: i rather be a cat den a human
Amirul:ok im being emo
Amirul: bt how i wish i can be a animal
Diandra: huh?
Diandra: emo?what animal?
Amirul: animal wif no feelings
Amirul: maybe a snail
Diandra: but y r u emo?
Amirul: i wanna be emo kid laa
Amirul: dats why
Amirul: i wanna wear eyeliner nw
Amirul: all black,cover face.
.........................................................................................................................................................................

That was sooo weird. rofl

Okays. soooo weird conversation that i had with him and it was like 3am..

IT WAS INDEED THE WEIRDEST! gosh..this guy is crazy.

He want to take sleeping pills.He want to faint.and want to go hospital. argh..

Dasar. punya pikiran yg aneh2 bgt d.huh.

dasar EMO KID.Klo bete g usah blg2 gini.nanti kesurupan baru taw lo!!!

gw mah g bisa ngapa2in.I've finished my sleeping pills.

and dont ever take 10 panadols in one time.You'll be like me,ending up in the hospital. I was emo that time.Cos of something that is still a nightmare in my sleeps...

Smoking too.I know i smoke.but i m trying to quit.Saying is defintiely easier to be said than to be done.sigh.But menthol is sooooo LOVED!ooppss.Sorry.

to my mum n dad: im sorry i smoked.puff me away.

"NO smoking; NO offensively ghoulish odor lugubriously stabbing everygorgeously impeccable and rhapsodic ingredient of the atmosphere"

2008-08-04T01:16:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADIESUFYAN!!!!

2008-08-04T00:39:00.007+08:00

today.woke up at around 2ish? too tired.even to stand up.my cat is really irritating.lol.
azri asked me to kick the cat out.I WILL SOONNNNN!!!!! sheesh.
nyebelin bgt tau! g ada perasaan tau.masa, kencing di ranjang gw? beol jg! kurang asem!!!!!! dasar!!!!!! hoho.
udah bete gara2 shafiq..skrg gara2 kucing. huh!!
Dan ttg si shafiq.that jerk.dia tuh sebenarny suka ama cewe yg namany DIYANA SAIT!emank qlo dya suka ama tu cewe, dy g usah donk make2 gw sbg cewe backupny!? kurang asem bgt tau!!! udah gombal, otak ciut.Makany orgny item dan stupid!! huh.gw sebel ama dya sampe gini.g pernah gw dimaenin ampe gini. anjrit! (utk cowo itu:qlo loe baca ini,liat muka lo!masi ada cowo ganteng laennya. lo mah ok2 aja. g gitu ganteng bgt.jd JGN GR!!!!hahaha.everyone was there..
Gw ok2 aja ama din.utgnya.haha."karna dya g maw gw dtg" jahat bgt tau! sebel.
koq gw sebel &bete2 mwulu skrg2 yach?...
anws, i went to sb.(as usual)i drank 2 starbucks drinks.
1st: mocha frapp
2nd: java chip (frm arii/azri)♥
everything goes as usual.yupps.:)
went home around 1130ish...yupps.
gotta go now.

azri called.♥

Worst Bbq =(

2008-08-03T18:08:00.005+08:00

Sigh. things just got worst. Shafiq is a JERK.thats for sure. I hate him.

Who the hell does he think he is? a king? f***!!!The bbq was ok.and fun at first.

I met Alif at ct hall then we went to bedok to meet up with the rest of the Bedok bandits.They are nice/crazy/rawking people! trust me.

lol.The weather was soooo hot . i was sweating even b4 i reached Pasiris.lol.haha. [hope i dun get darker]. sigh. the bbq was fun. ate alot of chicken wings. ENAK BUANGET!!!!!!!!! hehe. the guys there are rawking.=) yupps. but things was getting out of control.when shafiq imbrahim msged me. I dunno y i m saying this here.HE'S A FUCKING MORON!!!! JERK!!

i know it seems weird when i have to say that out.but he ruined my day! like totally.

and i m saying this all to the WWW. (WHOLE WIDE WORLD!) So i m sharing all this. to you and you and you.

make it obvious that i was REALLY PISSED. my bbq was fucked up.

shafiq messaged me sayingthings that makes me obviously furios. we arent frens now of cos. DUH.

sigh. he was insulting me and all.

he was my "so called bf" but after his disappearance i was totally over him.well.hope it was 100% but when he started to message me again.things started to change,to the worst. i hatehim.

he asked me to go doctor.

he's a dumb ass. seriously. doctors can not heal this kinda of pain!!! he's STUPID i'll say.

lazy bumbum.

im venting me anger now. argh.i cried.and fall asleep during the bbq.

there was a tent. so yea. you dun have to wonder where i was sleeping.

my life.its full of complicated things.

hahaha imiss my mum!!:( and of cos azri. hahaha.

2008-08-02T09:29:00.001+08:00

its 930 am here.gosh its too early fer me to wake up on a SATURDAY .lol.

last nyte was kinda awesome. cos i met din and his skate friends. yupps.

i thought all of them dislike me.but to think bout it again, they are actually nice peeps.:)

lol. well, 1st impression counts. hmm..met khai at paragon when he was working.got a free drink.:)

hmm,we talked abit. bout our WEIRD LIFE.lol.sigh. pain but reliecved.

hmm..i went home with the skaters. yupps.at 1st we wwanted to ton. but.change our mind. oh well, today is a new day.

hope everything 's fine.

got bbq at pasirris around 4 pm.:)

hahaha.fahmi and the bedok bandits.hmm.shafiq seems to f***ingly ignore me.

im irritated by that.OBVIOUSLY.

lol.

im not sure what to do with him.

werks..school works.PILING UP.:(

ITS STRESSFUL.SIGH.well, i think im off here. yupps.

azri called after werk:) love him. muaksss.

g tanggung bgt d.

2008-08-01T10:44:00.000+08:00

gila.hari ini gw skola! tapi g juga.malaan gilanya, gw k skola, tp g masuk kelas.

ngerti? haha. yach,gt d.

im not wearing the rightpi uniform.MAKANYA.bete d.

So bistu, gw ke novena duduk bentar sambil minum ice chocolate favorit gw...

bete abis.

trus, anehnya, si din kontek gw. aneh bgt d.

org tu. kayak maw ktm bgt gt.haha. trus azri jg,anehhh!!!! g kontek gw.

g tau tadi mlm kmn dya.

hpnya g aktif lg. nyebelin bgt g tu. mayb dya ada cewe laen?mana gw tau,ya g.?namany jg cowo.

apa aja sama.smuany sama.sebel!!

aduh..gmn nih.

perasaan gw koq kyk kumat bgt d. ati gw sakit.(bukan heart attack lho)

tapi ya,gt lha. g tau knp.

edri jg g tau kmn aja kangen!!!!

starbucks guys.with cool gurls:)

2008-08-01T05:28:00.000+08:00

Shahiddinsky,azri rashid,diandra,marlieyana,nyna,indra,

aim,chafeka,ira,khai:)

hmmm...

2008-08-01T05:16:00.000+08:00

well, today didnt go to well.hmm.didnt go to school.

asual. but there's another reason.but there's no way i can put it here.

my bf. a clue. sigh.

yesterday we watch a movie.yupps.

nth much,

he's always werking.

thats y.

and the onli tym i can see him is when he's werking.:(sad huh.yea.

todae i meet my mum.but b4 tht, i went to bp fer awhile.like 2 hours? thats all.lol.

did nothing there.just internet.and chattin.:)

haha.hmm.at 6 ish,meet mum.dinner,and tahts it.

went back hostel and slept.:(

hahaha.wad a boring dat.

Shafiq messaged me!!!after so long! gosh.is tht wad u called "friends?"

he dunno how i felt when he ignored me.its ssoooo him.his clumsiness.but i missed himalot.

sigh.

he also message me as if, there's nothing happen.sigh.

i talk to fahmi bout this.

he say its not worth it to thinksbout him.

haha. i AGREE.

sigh.

and ira is sick./:(

im sad.

sigh.

azri isnt msging me now..i wondered why.

does he take me seriously?

or is it just a game or two?

after shafiq? him?

i just want to wait and see.

guys.

this is wad make gurls hurt and pain.couldnt believe it.

its so obvious.

AZRI.if you read this.pls.contact me.ok?>.<

your lies

2008-07-31T17:23:00.000+08:00

Your Lies Funny

when things never change

Even when you say they will

But while your off srewing her

My life is standing still

You tell me that you love me

When I go to leave

You tell me I'm your only one

And I let myself believe

I know that you are using me

But you'll never let me go

I know that you don't love meI know

I'm just for showI don't know

If I can stand

To see you love another girl

You know that you broke my heart

You know that your my world

But while your standing by my side

I'll believe your lies forever

Cause everything seems so perfect

When we are together

2008-07-29T21:54:00.000+08:00

All the emotions begin to rise up inside,

And I lose control.

Tears begin to roll down my face,

And my breath begins to shorten,

My Heart quickens its pace.

I can't take it anymore,

I need to show myself.

And let my emotions pour.

I tried to hide these feelings,

But I have gone to long without showing them.

I need to find a way to say it,

To pass the emotions to you,

And get myself out of this pit.

You need to know,

But for some reason,

I can't get these words to flow.

So I will make it quick,

I Love You...

whoohoo.wad a day

2008-07-29T09:43:00.000+08:00

Ok,today wasnt like what i have expected.lol.

i woke up late.i slept like only 2.5hrs.

couldnt sleep.thinking too much i guess.yeah..went to school.

baddddd day.everything is going soo bad for me.

5 days.i didnt go sch for like...(countable days).lol.

gosh,my emo is coming back.

everything

all.

i didnt meet my mother since saturday.

i missed her.

maybe i meet her later???o.o

yeah, was thinking of that..last night was realy horrible feeling i had.

felt likw throwing balls on my face.and punching the walls.

kicking the face of that idiot.

i made this mess.gotta clean it up.

i dont wannt to lose azri.

..........................................................

chomel have been really irritating.

he peed on my bed again!! until i have to change the sheet.lol

but he is soo cute!!!been playing around with him for a while now.

cos i've nothing to do. lol.

missing him.xoxo

sick of being in love

2008-07-29T01:47:00.000+08:00

TO:AZRI

I m so sick of being in love.Seriously.

While the tears still trying to fall from my eyes,

i missed the joyful days i spent with you.not with him.

he's nothing special in my life.

I tried to resist my sobs ad sighs.

but my faint voice can still be heard.

My MIND is still desires to erase all the memories with him.

slowly, i will.

Give me time. Let it be alone.

Now, i felt a desire to die,

But tears are getting dry,

my voice go silent.speechless.

i've nomore to say.

my past, u dont know.

my future,i m awaiting to be with you.

But with all this problems,

its unpredictable.

for me, "love is a pleasure lasts but for a moment but love's pain last forever."

It hurts.badly.killme

2008-07-29T01:13:00.000+08:00

you,who like a knife

have entered my sorrowful heart.

you, who strong as a drove of demons,

entered crazy and decked in finery.

to turn my humiliated minds,

and spirit into your bed and domain.

I have begged the speedy blade

to conquer my misery

and i have told perfidious poison

to assist my cowardice.

When u tell me that i didnt love you,i felt hurt.

felt as if you stabbed me from behind with a blade of your winning justice.

I wanted to cry everytime i told you i miss you,

BUT YOU WOULDNT LISTEN.

when will you?

when the world ends?

i m not sure if i can wait till then

i told you im over that someone. and i will.

but if im not, KILL ME. POISON ME.HANG ME.

IM READY TO DIE.

The day.I cant forget.

2008-07-28T20:54:00.000+08:00

Well, today,everyone was like ponteng sch? me, ira, azri, marlin,shahiddin,khai.hahaha..we met at lavender to eat lunch.lol.Shahiddin.was REALLY LATE!!!!!!!!!!! gosh. we are all waiting for him sey..

beneran.!!haha..

azri sau harian kayak g hapi gt d.sebel jdnya gw. I was soooo confused.I dunno what he is thinking.I miss him and he's like that.sigh.Ngeliatin gw.

Im so inlove with him now.Tapi orangnya g pede bgt.

Sebel.

dia masih kira gw suka ama khai.lol.

hahaha

gila tau!!!!

hmm..

bistu, qta di bugis duduk2.hahaha..i HOOLD HIS HAND!! hoho..

but still muka nya g hapi.i dunno how to make him happy. sigh..

library session was boring.

I fall asleep millions time.lol.

Sigh.

it was too quiet.:)

lol.

at 730,we went to SB.haha.:) hahaha..sheeesh.

I saw him again.My baby!!!! :) i m happy

ill alwaes love you Azri..

puisi no.2

2008-07-28T09:58:00.001+08:00

Pikiranku menyatu dengan rasa pedih,
kuusir semua perasaan yang telah
menyiksa hati dan kebebasan.
Ku tak pernah, membuat kekesalan.
dan kesalahan terhadapmu.
Wahai, kau yang banyak kesalahan,
selalu menyalakan diriku.
Pandangan dirimu
telah menusuk dadaku,
luka dihatiku,
tak dalam diobati.
Oh aku, seorang perawan,
dengan hatiku yang suci tapi lemah,
setia pada dirimu.
Kesalahanmu ada darah- detikku.
Itu segalanya, sebabnya aku,
tidak pernah lagi,
melihat lelak dihati.

Puisi aku no.1

2008-07-28T09:53:00.000+08:00

Seandainya aku adalah bintang,
biarkanlah aku berkelap-kelip.
Pada malam hari nanti.
Aku ingin memberi rasa ceria, walaupun hati ini
ingin pecah berkeping-keping.
dan setiap debuku,terhampar di pelosok birmasakti.
Ingin kuukir namamu,
di sebatang pohon,
supaya memori kita selalu ada sekitarnya,
Kalau kau kedinginan,
panggilah namaku.
Kan kucoba memberimu kehangatan
dengan memelukmu dengan erat.
Tiada mengeluh atau memarahi,
akan aku datang pada smua panggilanmu.
Aku ingin memanggilmu sayang,
tapi sayang, kau sudah ada yang punya.
Jantungku pula berdegup dengan kencang.
tiap kali ku sebut namamu,
melihat matamu,
membuatku merasa berada.

My new loves.

2008-07-28T09:33:00.000+08:00

Azri -my baby
Ira-my beauty
Khai rooney- my pain
Azri-werking?? lol
Shahiddinsky-my defence

life changes.

This people rawks my world.

times goes by.

i love them day by day.

they make me laugh.and cheer me up in anytime.

listen to my problems and love me.

my missed friends.

2008-07-28T09:12:00.000+08:00

Norshit,zanna,erykah,palin,baby,oza,erin,me
Its me n bro, Nazmi
munir,erin, me,hamdan

i missed my friends so badly.i dunno wad happen to us.but.its' weird!!!:(

its been so long we've not met.lol.

we all go to our seperate ways.

sad huh .bahh.i hope to see them again.:(

hoping..soo badly..

Erin,erykah,baby,palin,oza,rafis,apit,alyff,zanna,ariel,dhil,abbas,munir,afiq,norshit.

ouh god.those girls are my guardian angels.sigh.missed them.

much,

million,billions, times.

kung kali kung

2008-07-28T08:55:00.000+08:00

gila abiss d pokoknya.

sebel!!g bisa bo2 trus! mati gw rasanya.mata q kayak panda.haha.

rasa benci q terhadap kucing q.haha.

hmmm..edri kmn aja yach? koq g bls2 fs gw.

myspace jg nehh...gw kgn ama cowo gw.dia tiap hari kerja.nyebelin g tuh.??:(

but wad to do?thats his passion?..muahahaha

bete abiss nihh..udah pagi.

my darlnx marlieyana asked me out for breakie.haha.but azri and that stupid khai going lavender.

cos azri had to do his ic.yups.

srry baby, i cant be there.:(

.........................................................................................................

IM SO BORED!!!!:(

Well, i want to say i love you.*in many languages.

English:

I love you
Chinese :
Wo ie ni
Czech :
miluji te
Danish :
Jeg elsker dig
Dutch :
Ik hou van jou
French :
Je t'aime
German :
Ich liebe Dich
Hungarian :
Szeretlek te'ged
Indonesian :
Saya cinta kamu
Italian :
Ti amo
Irish :
taim i' ngra leat
Japanese :
Kimi o ai shiteru

Is it a dream? or is it a nightmare?

2008-07-28T06:48:00.000+08:00

well, i didnt know what i would do .but i guess things changed so fast.

Shafiq isnt contacting me anymore.argh.that jerk.but who cares.

OMG!!!!i lovelovelove ira, marlieyana, my baby azri, aim, shahiddin.

hahaha..and umm..i cant say bout loving khai.lol..cos it'll give back all the weird memories i had.:( haha.anws, school is getting really boring.not been going to sch since last wed.SICK.>thats my reason.I WAS!!hahaha.but still..being silly.and went out.lol.

happily attached now.lol.not to silly khai.but his friend.lol.i wonder. muahahaha.i found a cute kitten!!!! ITS CUTE! HAHA..baby kitten.lol.brot it home.and bla bla bla fed it, pat it ..like its my own."son" ugh..ewwww..

well, i m happy khai and ira is getting along.sad inside.a lil.but happy fer them.

i've my baby anywaes.lol.

yup..sigh. i love starbucks. baristas are sooooooo friendly!

ouhya,im sooo inlove with this song "this is me" everone said so.haha..im crazy? something like that.hahaha. if you listen, ull love it.its by the camp rock cast.hmm..lame i know.

omg.gw kgn bgt ama edri!!sahabat q tersayank!! tp gw hepi karna dy masuk S1 di UI!! hebat uy!!! dasar tuh cowo, bkn org envy aja.huh..hahaha.dy potong rambut nihh..cakep!:) hahaha..

hmm..gmn yach,edri jg namany.kgn abisss gw!